Who Can We Trust

I think about the times I trusted so many. 

A time when love was so fresh in my mind

I gave you my all, to have it thrown back in my face,

You used me as a doormat, for whatever purposes you could.

You said you loved me, and then walked on my heart as not other,

The footprints on my heart shows how you walked all over me,

I a forgiving soul don't blame you. I allowed it to happen, I waited

to hear your words my heart longed to hear from your sweet lips,

I love you, could break down the walls I tried to build to protect my heart. 

I suffered and cried all the time, for the things you did. I forgave you 

time and time again. Not once did I stop loving you. 

I trusted you with all my heart, you held it in your hands, and you played with it, walked all over it and used it to your advantage. Never once thinking what you were doing to me. Hurting me physically and emotionally.  Never again you would say. But at the break of dawn every day, you would begin it over and over again. Then came the day, you said the words, I had so longed to hear, little did I know you were just making things right with God and me.

It was what brought you to your demise. You taught me not to ever trust again. I missed the chance to hold your hand or hold you close, one last time, because

you passed away all alone, I could not get to you. All I could do was pray. 

I kissed your cold lips for the last time, three days; I still stayed by your side.

Nothing has ever hurt me so, as losing the one I loved. My husband my life, although I had no trust in you.

People say, I am too trusting, well so be it. It is the way I am. 

Everyone deserves a chance to be trusted, until they break it, and then it takes time to build it back, if at all possible.

But you see God stepped in, when my mind settled, he made me the way I am, I don't want to change if  I did, it would not be me. I am me and if I trust and I get hurt, that is my choice to bear the pain and not blame anyone but me.

Truth and honesty I can handle better than lies. I can deal with it, but lies I don’t handle so well. It has caused distrust, truth and trust goes hand in hand.