Illusions of the Heart

Just How Much Has Been an Illusion

I am looking for my heart, Have you seen it?  I gave it away for someone to hold, cherish and love forever.

The distance it traveled I know not to where, I have not felt its closeness in so long, the closeness of two hearts beating as one.

After I give it away, I learned the one that I love from the depth of my soul, loved another.

I cried and cried, felt so hurt and alone as if my heart was not good enough to love, cherish and hold.

He just up and disappeared, shutting me out as if I no longer mattered, not even as a friend.

I really trusted him as I thought I could no other, he knew I loved him from the start. Never thinking he would break my heart.

I thought he really loved me too, but was it an illusion, that leads me to believe he loved me too?

This is how I lost track of my heart, all in this illusion of falling apart, I know it is out there in limbo land, not being loved, cared for or cherished anymore, not to even be a close friend. Why? Leaving me alone and totally lost never to find my heart again, I gave it away and can’t get it back.

I have to rethink and restart my life over again without the one I love, all because I never really had a chance.

Was I just under an illusion of thinking someone really truly loved me, or blinded by high hopes and dreams of unreality?

Someday I pray that the illusion will turn into reality, and someone will love me for me.

Someone who wants to be with me and not shut me out because I cry to think the one I love loves someone else.

And hopefully once again not get it thrown back in my face as if to say, your heart is not good enough.